These days, people are into collections.  People collect anything from baseball cards to figurines to cars, dishes or toys and the list goes on and on!  I’m not big into collections but I do have a couple of odd ones that I bet would surprise you.  I have a collection of antique hats (some pictured here) and a large collection of pipes!  Yes, pipes, the kind you smoke.  (My real dad used to sell pipes and I inherited his collection.)

Anyway, when John and I got married and I packed up my hat collection to move and thought about how many hats I already wore and how many new ones I was about to put on.  I am a wife, I am a mother, I run a company,  I am a personal coach and I direct a seminar once each month.  I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am an aunt, I am a friend and the goes on.   

How in the world are we supposed to keep our lives balanced with so many hats?  There are days I feel completely unable to juggle it all and I find myself having to choose what I can complete in order to be able to ever bring my day to a close.  Then when I wake up the next day and add the unfinished items to the new day’s list and by 8:a.m., I’m already having to decide what I can get to.  Then the next day is the same and on and on it goes.  

I am truly a blessed woman with a very full and productive life and while it can be a challenge, there is no other way I would want it to be.  I LOVE my life and I LOVE my hats!  I certainly don’t have a life that a wimp could take over!  Lately several people have asked me how I manage to do so many things, especially professionally………and I have given it some thought. 

Over the years, I’ve learned to balance my need to succeed, with my need to actually have a life that is fun and fullfilling!   I have managed to create a healthy balance by:  1.) never blaming anyone for my situation 2.) working hard 3.) playing hard and 4.) choosing to be fully present in my life.  That means making choices, not just letting life happen to me and 5.) choosing to be joyful and not whining!  NEVER WHINING….no matter what!  OH, and when I can’t do it all……..I don’t do guilt!   

Perhaps you too wear a lot of hats in your life and if so, you know it’s easy to feel overwhelmed from day to day about meeting the needs of all your personas.  So how do you balance your life?  How do you get it all done and still find time to take care of yourself?  Where do you get more energy, when you’re all out?

I want to recommend a book to you called ‘The Power of Full Engagement’.  It’s a great guide that addresses how to be fully present in your life and how to create new energy when you feel you’re tapped!  My other advice…..wear only one hat at a time whenever possible and sometimes, just throw them all off and just have fun!

Did you ever see a movie called “The Truman Show” with Jim Carey? Sometimes I think I’m living a life just like Truman’s.

The DANA SHOW! Starring: Dana Hamman!

I just know I am entertaining the cosmos, aliens from another planet or maybe God pops popcorn and curls up on his cloud for a good laugh when things are heating up in my life. Whoever it is, I am certain that my life is a HIT comedy and someone somewhere is being entertained by the story line that never seems to be lacking hilarity!

When my kids were young I used to joke that I was trapped in the Cosby Show or some universal Candid Camera. Just when I’d be ready to cry, I’d call one of my girlfriends and tell her the story and soon, we’d be laughing! I believe that laughing at life is one of the things that preserved my sanity after single parenting for some 15 years. In fact, for many years of my life, laughter was a means of survival…………it taught me a wonderful principle for my life. One I’ve clung to and hope to carry with me to my last breath!

My principle for life is……….It’s supposed to be FUN and when what your doing ain’t fun anymore…..STOP IT! Simple huh? The Dana Hamman life principle is to have fun! Sound too easy? Well here’s how I see it.

Life is a journey for sure. Every day is a test of who we are. Some days I fail big, some days I suceed big! Some days I cry and most days I laugh but one thing I’ve learned is there are no absolutes. Many of you have heard me say that the only absolute is that there are no absolutes, well it’s true and it keeps life in perspective if you remember that! Just because things aren’t going well doesn’t mean it’ll always be that way.

So you probably sitting there reading this and thinking “come on Dana, you haven’t really explained this theory you live by…….life isn’t making me smile and I don’t feel like laughing right now!” We’ll if you’re saying that, I understand because life isn’t easy for any of us all the time. As a single mom I can assure you there were awful and exhausting days but I learned that when things blew up, I could either sell my children on the black market or put my lipgloss on and strike a pose for the camera that I knew was watching me somewhere!!

Life is all as it should be even when it hurts. What if you could change your thinking to accept that every day is exactly what it is supposed to be? Every day is a lesson, a test and all of it creates the person in us that we were intended to be. Remember that God doesn’t make mistakes. All of the things that happen in your life are designed to create in you, the very attributes that GOD himself wants you to possess.

Take a breath, smile and pose!

The other day, my 10 year old Lawson was asked to do something for his dad and told he’d be paid for his work. After the work was done, he asked his dad how much he would be getting and John, said $5. Lawson frowned and seemed disappointed in his dad’s answer, then he asked $10? John didn’t go for it and Lawson took his $5 to add to his stash!

A while later, I took Lawson aside and taught him the art of negotiation. The job is far more valuable when it is still undone which means the negotiation must be done up front. I explained that when there is a need, there is a higher sense of value than when the job it done. Sad but true………when our needs are met, our value of the need diminishes. Just think about the last time your spouse or b/gfriend sent you flowers or gave you a massage. Remember how it made you feel loved and special? Now fast forward to a month later, when your partner then reminded you that you WERE in fact pampered only a short month ago, suddenly, the value of those long-since-dead flowers or that pittily little massage are gone!

This cartoon says it all!

So I explained, in 10 year old terms that the next time Lawson was commissioned by his dad with a income-producing task, he should settle the money issue first and we both smiled and went on with our day! Two days later, those words came back to me when I asked Lawson to do something to help me and he asked, “How much can I make for my work?” When I told him we’d figure it out later, he reminded me of the Art of Negotiation! I had to smile and pat him on the back for having listened….and then we negotiated!

Do you go through life feeling that your contribution has lost its value? Do you feel unappreciated at work? At home? As a parent? Do you even value yourself? When was the last time you really sat down and did something for yourself? The art of negotiating can be used in all aspects of life but we have to learn to recognize the moments that present themselves in which we can highlight our value. Your challenge is to look for ways that you can recognize your own value. Take care of you! Pamper yourself, spend time with friends and enjoy the feeling of your own value. Here are 5 steps to take:

1. Set clear boundaries for yourself when helping others or taking on tasks for others. It’s ok to say “no”!

2. Respect yourself and don’t live a life of over-doing.

3. Ask for what you need from your family and friends. If you need a girls night, or family time, make it happen!

4. Accept that you can’t make everyone happy and that it is not your responsibility to.

5. Learn to spend time alone doing things you enjoy that are peaceful and that recharge your emotional batteries. People, who can’t happily be alone, are people who never seem to find internal joy.

When you begin to see your own value, so will others!

So, I am a big fan of Albert Einstein. I enjoy learning all I can about him. I love his spirit, his sarcasm and his non-conforming attitude. Albert Einstein wasn’t anything special when starting out in life. Certainly, he was intelligent but he came from a humble beginning and had all the same struggles everyone else does. He was a patent clerk with a failed marriage. BUT, Somewhere along the way, Albert allowed his mind to travel outside the box. He broke from traditional thinking and when he did, he changed the world. Perhaps that’s why he is one of my heros.

Too often we look past the obvious or, even worse, we just live in our own mediocrity and we don’t use our brains! We want the world to think for us. We start young when we adopt beliefs simply because our parents have them. Or we look at the religion of our childhood and never explore why we believe what we claim to believe. Maybe we allow teachers or friends to influence our minds yet we fail to ask questions, we just accept what they say as our own truth. Too often, we as humans, just go with the flow instead of using our God given gifts to think for ourselves.

Ask yourself these questions:

Why do you believe, spiritually speaking, the way you do?

What is it you love about the God you worship?

When did you take on the political stand you have?

Do you know why you vote the way you do?

What do you do to challenge your mind?

Do you shy away from thinking for yourself because you fear you may be wrong?

Are you a follower?

Take some time to explore your life and ask yourself how you became the person you are.

When my children were young, I encouraged them to ask questions and I discouraged them from believing everything I believed without knowing why. I wanted them to know why they believed so that they would never be afraid to take a stand for something. I love that my children are individuals and able to think for themselves. Certainly, that means that they don’t always agree with me but you know, I even love that about them. I want them to THINK!

Here is a simple test. It’s called Einstein’s Riddle. It is said that Einstein came up with it early in the 19th century though there is no known proof he actually did. It is said that he believed 98% of people couldn’t solve it even though it is simple. If that is true, why would only 2% of the people who attempt to solve it, actually complete it? Is that because of IQ? Is that because of right or left brain thinking? Or is it because they give up when they have to actually THINK about it.

Below you will find the riddle. If you want the answer, send me an email and I’ll send it to you but better yet, think it out and work at solving it. I’d like to hear from you if you try to solve it too. Remember it’s better to try and fail than not to try at all! Are you afraid to step out of the box?

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage. The question is: Who owns the fish?

Hints:

• The Brit lives in the red house.
• The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
• The Dane drinks tea.
• The green house is on the left of the white house.
• The green homeowner drinks coffee.
• The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
• The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
• The man living in the center house drinks milk.
• The Norwegian lives in the first house.
• The man who smokes Blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
• The man who keeps the horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
• The owner who smokes Bluemaster drinks beer.
• The German smokes prince.
• The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
• The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

I just returned from vacation with John and the boys.  John started going to Silverton Colorado at 15 years old and it became a favorite trip that he takes almost every year over the 4th of July.  I’d never been before and couldn’t wait to experience it with him.  It was beautiful!  We were all over the mountains on four-wheelers, which, by the way, is something that never seems to tire the male species. 

On one of our mountain rides, we came upon a small ghost town nestled in the mountains called Animus Forks

http://www.ghosttowns.com/states/co/animasforks.html.  http://www.ghosttowngallery.com/htme/animasforks.htm

Animus Forks was once a small mining community that was vacated as the area mines were depleted.  I looked at the small houses and wondered what life must have been like for those who once inhabited them.  The winters were brutal and the mines were treacherous so the life expectancy under those conditions was less than 50 years.  It’s almost impossible for modern day Americans to comprehend what life in an environment like that would be like.  No plumbing, no electricity, nothing but wooden shelters in the shape of small houses. 

Recently in the news a politician found himself in trouble for stating that American’s had become a Nation of whiners.  Though an unpopular statement for a political figure, I have to say that in many ways, I agree with him.  We have become a Nation of spoiled brats who take for granted all of our comforts and luxuries.  As I think back on Animus Forks I realize that I too often fail to recognize my blessings and comforts.  I came home from vacation and need another vacation to recoop. 

I’m not completely certain, as I write this entry, why these random thoughts have come together but I find myself contrasting my tiredness from an un-restful vacation against the lives of the inhabitants of Animus Forks.  I’m not saying that it’s not ok to be tired, and Lord knows I’d rather have spa treatments at a 5 star resort  over four-wheeling through muddy mountains any day of the week BUT, I am blessed to have taken an exhausting 10 day vacation to one of the most beautiful places in the Country and to return home with all my aches and pains to my warm bed in my beautiful home with all the advantages of life at my fingertips.

One night on our trip, we sat and watched a movie, “The Guardian” (a great one if you haven’t seen it) and there was a line in the movie by the character Maggie:  I quote:

I mean if my muscles ache, it’s because I’ve used ‘em. It’s hard for me to walk up them steps now, its ‘cuz I walked up ‘em every night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I’ve layed under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way thorough a pretty damn good life if you ask me. Getting old ain’t bad Ben. Getting old, that’s earned.

John and I talked about that line as we moaned and groaned with our aches and pains over the past week while recovering from so much fun.  We have pain in our bodies because we live a full life.  We decided that rather than recognizing our pain and overlooking our blessings, that we should celebrate our pains more and simply practice acknowledging our blessings.  I learned that we have blessings ONLY if we recognize them.  If we don’t see them are we blessed by them?

Next year on our trip to Silverton, we are hoping to take all the kids, Kelsey, Daron and Clint as well.  I will have more aches, more mountain rides, I will cook twice as much over a Coleman stove and will come home more exhausted!  I am blessed!

While away, we also had the pleasure of decorating our four-wheelers and riding in the 4th of July parade in Silverton.  Let us never forget the price paid so that we could freely experience this wonderful life!  Even at $4 a gallon for gas, may I learn to give thanks for having a beautiful car to pump it into!

Dana

I’m often asked about my religious views because they seem to some, conventionally unconventional. Here goes:

I am a Christian who believes that organized religion often does more harm than good. Why? Because religion is people and people are broken humans looking for something to believe in and trust. That combination can really mess up reality, logic, humility and mercy in a lot of people. Now that, doesn’t mean I don’t participate in some forms of religious expression that are meaningful to me, nor does it mean that I think all “religious” people are the same. Simply stated, I feel that some people get too deep into “religion” and not deep enough into God and His character. Everything we need to know was modeled by God himself. Do I believe in the Bible? You bet. Completely! I make no apologies for what I believe though I often find myself explaining the “religious” actions of others, who supposedly share my general beliefs.

Having grown up in Dallas, Texas, I can say with conviction that I feel that a majority of people suffer from some form of spiritual damage. Myself included. Who hasn’t had some injury in this area? It could be from attending a church that didn’t walk the talk, or maybe just talked too much. Or a church that asked for money or that made you feel judged. Perhaps you were raised by parents who took you to church and then lived in a way that conflicted with what they said they believed in? Maybe rules and legalism made you feel left out or judged or perhaps you were harmed by a spiritual leader who was someone you trusted. The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe, most people have experienced some form of spiritual injury.

Here is a little test we do in the Boot Camp so you can see if you have any spiritual damage. It’s a simple litmus test. Finish the sentence: All religious (or Christian) people are_________________ . Did you finish that sentence with a negative thought off the top of your head? If you did, that is spiritual damage.

I think many people forget that the actions of people are JUST that……the actions of people. Just because a person does something in the name of God, doesn’t make it God’s. The basis of my personal belief begins with the Greatest Commandment given to us by God. He told us to “LOVE one another” as He loved us. He didn’t tell us to push our beliefs on others or to judge their actions but he did tell us to love others. In fact, the best way to represent our faith is simply by loving others just as Jesus did. Only through love do we reflect God to the world. God didn’t ask us to love others. He said “the greatest commandment I give you”. There were no “IF’s” in that statement.

I think my greatest beef with religion, is that it gets into rules, right, wrong, legalism and judgment. Not surprisingly, the people who lie in the wake of those judgments are left feeling anything but loved. Why would they have any desire to know a God whose followers behave that way?

In the Bible, Jesus was verbally assaulted for His beliefs. He was challenged, He was antagonized He was berated and do you know what he did? NOTHING. Do you know why He did nothing?? Because Jesus just didn’t have time for stupid! When I hear people getting on a soap box about religion and rules, I remind them of the Greatest Commandment and then, I just don’t talk to stupid!

When I’m asked why I give so much of my time to help others, I have an easy answer and that is, that I love people. I don’t care what they believe or what path their life is on……I just love them. Only by loving, can I demonstrate to others what God is about for me. Showing love in a very unloving world, is the way I share my faith and beliefs with others.

How do I experience God? Here’s a little story that might help explain. A few years ago, I was spending so much time rushing around and worrying about life that I felt disconnected from God. One day, I decided to slow down and talk to God so I parked my car in a park near my house and I asked God where He was! When I looked up from my fretting, I saw a woman sitting in her car and I could see that every possession she had in the world, was loaded in her car with her. Her car was her home. As I sat there with my $5 cup of coffee in my luxury car, I realized that I’d seen her before in this same park but just blew past her without noticing. I backed my car out and went back to the coffee shop to get her a cup of coffee. She was shocked and confused that I took the time to bring her coffee. I realized she was used to being invisible and probably had very little contact with others. She was grateful for the coffee but frightened so she said ‘thank you’ and quickly drove off. Perhaps that Latte’ was all she had to eat that day?

Where was God when I couldn’t find him? He was right where I left him as I rushed around ignoring things around me. When I slowed down and opened my eyes, I saw God. God was in my showing love to a total stranger. I felt him. From that day on, I began asking God each day to “show me the smallest person I encounter today”. I went on a quest every day to speak to the invisible people of our society and every time I do, I experience God. I don’t tell that story to toot my own horn but to share what I believe in. I don’t do it right all the time, but I love feeling aware of people around me.

YES, God gave us some do’s and don’ts but doesn’t any good parent have rules and boundaries that protect their children? I don’t believe we can really make our lives work until we look to God. And remember, he only wants the faith that we have at that moment. The Bible says that WE cannot increase our own faith, so God only wants the faith we have right now. If we trust him with what we have, then we’ve done our part and he’ll show us the rest on his own time.

So, my religion is LOVE. Corny? Probably, but I’ve been unconventional my whole life so why change it now? I hope you’ll consider looking for God in the small encounters you have each day. If you’re one of those people who measures others based upon how they fit into your religious beliefs, I hope you will do some research into what God said and start loving. If you’re one who feels judged or is experiencing hurt by people in “God’s name”, I hope that you’ll stop talking to and listening to “stupid”. And if you’re one who’s avoided God all your life because you didn’t want to be like “those people”, I pray you will hear that God loves you and know that those who treat you unlovingly in God’s name, are NOT speaking for God.

Dana

This site is being created to respond to those who are looking for continued growth in their lives that often ask me for new tools and ideas.  Most of the visitors to this site will be graduates of The Life Enrichment Boot Camp or the Marriage Boot Camp where I am a Seminar Director.  (Those of you who may not yet had that experience, should go to my link page and check it out.)  Others visiting this page may be involved in private coaching through Foundation Coaching. 

Regardless of what brings you to this site, you will find my own compilation of tools, drills, referrals, links, books, articles and more.  Those of you who know me, know that I have an unconventional look on what works in life.  I hope you will understand my personality is direct and no nonsense.  I usually find a lot of humor in life and believe that most of what makes life good is all in the way you view and translate it.

Though this site is new, I will endevor as it grows to make it friendly, easy to navigate and searchable so you can find what you’re looking for.  If you have suggestions,  please don’t hesitate to let me know.  If you have ideas for topics or areas of interest, please feel free to contact me with them.  This site will cover the spectrum from professional views, personal opinions and experiences.  I hope you enjoy it!

Dana